3 Ekim 2012 Çarşamba

The Courage to Start

Interestingly, I had always defined myself as an athlete—in high sex movies school I was a champion track and field jock and volleyball player, and during most of my twenties and thirties I was in decent shape, earning a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and going on to become an instructor. But then I started graduate school and made little time for anything except school. During my post-doc training, and later faculty appointments, “I just don’t have the time” became my mantra. Although this loss of identity was confounding to me I chose to ignore it. Fast forward….my daughter was born in 2005. Eating pounds of Raisinettes made those late night feedings more bearable. But you know, I’m going to stop right there, as I can’t blame the stress of motherhood either on my weight gain—the reality was that I had been overweight for a good deal of my adult life and all I needed was a stressor or reason to eat. Did I think that my life would be stress-free at some point and that’s when I could finally get healthy? Forty-five approached and passed and so did a few more years. Well, they say fifty is just a number. In the world of bicycling, we don’t say, oh I just signed up for a fifty miler,” we say, “I just signed up for a half-century.” Fifty = half–century. Whoa. Yes it is a number, but it is a profound number. We have long shifted from wanting to be older and more mature to accepting where we are and sometimes even wanting to stop the clock. You don’t hear many fifty year olds saying, “I just can’t wait til I’m 55.” As I approached fifty, I realized that if I continued on the path of denial, it would only be a matter of time before my pancreas would protest and I would develop diabetes and follow in the footsteps of my family….a grandmother that died of complications due to diabetes at the age of 38, and a father who developed diabetes in his mid-forties and became debilitated for the last twenty years of his life, finally succumbing to the disease in 2007. On the other side of the family tree, my mother developed heart and lung disease in her forties which resulted in a slow and painful death for the last ten years of her life. Having my own child later in life and being an older mother, along with losing both of my parents within three years of each other created the perfect storm for my own moment of truth. Did I want my daughter’s childhood memories of me to be that of sitting on the couch, watching TV, sleeping all the time, never having the energy to play or engage in her life? Did I want a teenager who was embarrassed (more than typical teenage embarrassment) to be in my presence because of my appearance and health status? Did I want a young adult child who would be burdened with my healthcare issues? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GZwKe-TJoA http://www.sexmoviesmania.com/Teen-Sex-Movies--category2.html http://www.sexmoviesmania.com/Free-Teen-Porn-category3.html